Sunday, February 21, 2010

Our newest employees or should we call them family?

The kids and I went on a mini adventure yesterday. We drove about 180 miles to see a small goat dairy which was part of a much larger operation that included all kinds of cute animals. Me I forgot my camera. Of course. The girls loved it! I did too, it gave me a little appreciation for what I'm trying to do here. Though my farm is different in many ways not to mention just a tiny portion of what they're farming it still adds a couple of details to that dream in my head. You know some of those things you cant really see until you see it and then you can add it to your own vision. Like milking stands. Ha! No one really thinks of milking stands right until you see them in action. And that we did.

Not exactly alpaca cute but the kids are already in love with her and her roomie. Yep had to get two. Even if they didnt need a buddy to keep them company I think we would have got two anyways. Both of these girls are due in April. Kid pics.

Can you say fuzzy? I got a batch of easter egg chicks to appeal to the customers and their kids. The kids and I have really enjoyed finding the green eggs so I think they'll be a real treat for just about anyone. All I need now is some ham and I call my self sam and ride a train. ;)

For those of you who can appreciate the sound of a rooster crowing in the morning. This is my favorite one. I think I'm going to spare him the hatchet.

Oh and the kicker. I had the luxury of a spider crawling down the back of my jeans while I was hauling a feed bin around. Joy! I'd take a pic but I don't think it'd be appropriate or I'd have to charge you by the peek. ;)

Friday, February 19, 2010

Today I'm frustrated and can't seem to shake it...

Last night, the first time in almost 5yrs I questioned whether I'm really happy here and with what I'm doing. Part of it is because I let some dude get to me, I let my mom get to me and my brother, I'm letting a lot of things get to me and it's all compiling into this giant chaotic mess all around me.

Part of it is just being tired I think, tired of bullsh*t from others, tired of all the bombshells that get dropped on my lap, tired of linger thought of what's going to go wrong next when things are going smoothly. I know think positive. Negative thinking leads to negative crapola. It's not like I spend the majority of my life thinking negative thoughts so obviously negative crapola is caused by something else other then my thoughts. Cause normally my thoughts revolve around a little fantasy of my little farm and my little family and our little existance here on this little earth. Normally. It's the negative crapola that causes me to start thinking negatively. Of course it's easy for a bystander to say well if you'd just think positive thoughts then postitive things would happen, of course they only say that when they catch you thinking negative thoughts cause when you're actually thinking positive thoughts then they could actually care less. Ya know the feeling?

So the dude that got to me. I'm too confident to need a relationship. I obviously have it all put together and could not possibly have any sort of want in a relationship. Therefore he's just not going to bother. Yea, I know it's a load of bs. The reality is I'm not quite up to par on his beautiful scale.

My mom got to me. Because now I make too much for state health insurance my kids have been dropped off of it. That's a two sided coin. Luckily the baby's back problem is being addressed at a hospital that is free for patients. I really got lucky there. God bless you God. If that's even possible. The down side is the normal check ups and what not will be up to me to foot the bill. Which isn't all bad because the kids only have normal check ups now that they're older. The kicker that's going to hurt is if the baby has to have her heart surgery. Okay, so back to mom getting to me. She says I should give up my plan of making the farm successful because it's selfish of me not to put my kids first. Yes, she actually said that. I'm being selfish for wanting to provide a home and comfortable lifestyle for my kids because I don't want to be on welfare and getting state aide. Why I let her get to me still, after all these years of knowing she has no ability to rationalize is beyond me.

My brother got to me. According to him I should find a suggar daddy. The definition of that: I should whore myself out in order to be able to pay him a full time check. Ha! I love my family! Just a whole boat load of funnies there. Yea, I don't know what I'd do without them.

I was told once that men want to save a woman. Since I'm not looking for a hero just a partner in crime I'm not in the right place in life to find love. Somewhere in there the definition of love is something like, must need to be saved. Or so it seems from what I've been gathering.

I'm a weakling. Maybe I'm addicted to dating (i'm joking). I joined eHarmony. Again. I figured, it was a way to meet people serious about finding a loving longterm relationship. So I subscribed for 3 months.

Heck I gotta have some sort of entertaining for the masses. Right? I'm determined to be the newest sitcom.

Anyways so today I'm frustrated. I'll get over it. Probably just the time of the month. Duck and cover! I probably shouldn't be so blunt. Hmm...

Oh and the conclusion. Of course I'm happy here. It's about the best way I can raise my kids. What could be better?

I can't seem find the spell checker on this updated blog post thingy so forgive my misspellings..

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

This n' that...

Elizabeth is in love with dresses. As I've mentioned before she's half girlie. I actually think she gets it from her momma. As much as I hate to admit it some days I'm part girlie too.

Girlie I guess isn't such a bad thing. Sometimes it comes in handy but other times it tends to get in the way. Like when I take the lawn tractor in for repairs or take a flat tire to be fixed men talk to me like I'm a girl! The nerve of them. (I'm half joking)

Remember those chicks I got way back when. The ones I was 'suppose to keep you updated on but due to my lack of habit of blogging I neglected to do so... Well here they are. Big and beautiful. Though the black ones are a little intimidating, the 5 of them will perch up on the porch rail like big black buzzards waiting for something to die. Or at least in our imaginations that's what we believe they are doing. They're mimics. (again half joking)
I love the big yellow roosters. I think they look the most "farmish" of all the roosters. Don't ask me why. Maybe it's because they're the most filled out. Or maybe I just think they're the least intimidating. Or maybe it's because they would look the best on my dinning room table. (If I ever find someplace else for my seedlings)

And my lovely hens. Thanks to a wonderful hatchery I got to discover the coolness of green eggs. I doubt I would have ordered "easter egg" layers otherwise. But they really are neat.

One of the best choices I've made so far was letting my oldest have this puppy for Christmas '08. She's one smart puppy. Her name is MP (Michelle's Puppy) While I applaud her smartness you can see by the picture that she's still worthy of a mess. :) And looking awful guilty!

This is how most of the evenings are looking now days when I come back in from working. The picture doesn't do the sunset justice but it's certainly a way to kiss another day goodbye. Have I mentioned how much I love the view from my little hillside? I love it!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Today's happenings... well part of today...

Check out my pumpkins. I started them 2 weeks ago.

These are Giant Pumpkins, I'm going to plant these along my front yard which is up a hill but seen from a major truck route. After they're grown I'll carve them on the spot. Wish me luck!

If I haven't told you yet, I don't have a green thumb, but I have good soil and loads of alpaca manure which seems to make green stuff explode from the ground with great humpf. Lucky me. In the heart of all things organic I'm using organic potting soil to start my seeds. It was only $.68 more per bag then the other kind. Lucky me.

Today I took a bold step. I put an ad on craigslist looking for a handyman willing to trade a little work for some home cooked goodness. No not a date. Just a little extra help. I'm THIS close to financial serenity. Which means a little ease of mind. You all know how that is. Not like I don't have enough to keep me up at night. So yea, wish me luck.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Social Networking...

I took the myspace plunge yesterday. Awhile back it was facebook. Now just to get everything in sync and connected. The joys of being online. Though I can't really put it down since this is where I get all my customers. I hope all this social networking is worth it. But I guess most everyone is on one site or another which means I should put in some sort of effort to us the same to keep them up to date on farm happenings. Cheaper then getting a website. Though I have one of those too. I just need to get it all set up and really on the run also. Maybe I'll start making online happenings my Sunday chore. I hate working on Sunday but it's about the only day I sit down for any real length of time.

Musings of a wandering mind...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Workin' hard...

My youngest is such a little helper. She's just like her sister was at this age but a little more in tune to her momma. It's so much fun watching her want and try to help in everything I do.

Tuesday saw us planting broccoli and celery. And Ms. Elizabeth looking mighty proud of her pretty dress. She's only half girlie, the other half is pure capable. (just like her momma) Isn't she a doll?

Today I spent most of the day building a yard for our hen house. We're expecting more chicks next week and now that our hens are laying consistently we don't want them leaving their edible gold (eggs) in our neighbors yards (yup they've done that a couple of times).

While I sat down to take a break Elizabeth took it upon herself to help finish the project. (No it's not plugged in)

See how well she pays attention? Always put on gloves before working with tools.

Ya watchin' mommy? I do listen!

Since I wouldn't let her out of the house to go work in the garage she decided her toy vacuum cleaner needed fixin'. (Yup she's got some housewife in her too, just like her momma.)

She's wearing my favorite hat. Which seems fitting when she's doing her momma's job. Look at that concentration.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

6:55am but I was up at 6:36..

I wish I had the ability to print out the picture in my head. I’m sitting in my big chair looking over my garden calendar and making to do lists, shopping lists and day dreaming (I do that a bit). My almost 2yr old (on the 25th of this month she’ll be 2! Yay!) walks up to me with her hand fisted and held out like she wants to give me something. In her mouth is something else which she’s not really liking the taste of but seems to be giving it the benefit of the doubt before spitting it out. I hold out my hand I’m assuming she’s bringing me some of her mid morning snack (cereal), in my hand she empties a fist full of black seeds. Oh no! I damn near tripped over her going to my office to see how many packets of seeds she’d gotten into. I left them on a side table next to my desk last night after doing inventory of what I still needed to get. In my mind I’m seeing thousands of seeds scattered all over the carpet and me with a magnifying glass and tweezers picking the smallest ones up in a whirl of panic wondering what seeds are what and wondering how many she ate.

Lucky me she only got one packet. My luffa seeds. All but 20 of them were gone. I hope she doesn’t sprout. I have no idea how many seeds were in the packet cause it’s one of my experimental plants this year so I just got the smallest packet available and was planning on planting whatever they sent me. Usually those small packets only have 25-50 seeds when it’s a specialty item like that. I stuck what was left in a starter tray to see if chewing on them has done any harm. Heck maybe they’ll germinate faster being slobbered on and cracked.

Yesterday I spent the better part of daylight hanging gates, removing and pounding t-posts (metal fence posts), herding alpacas, digging boulders out of the ground and getting muddy. Even fell down once, oops, boy does my arse hurt. The day before that was spent running to town, an all day event. Today I have to finish the grocery shopping I didn’t get done Tuesday, this morning I shampooed all the dirt out of my carpet from yesterday and scrubbed my kitchen floor of all its dirt too (sos pad is my bestfriend) and Friday will see me digging ditches to drain the pasture where my corn will be planted (more mud more fun!).

If I don’t find myself sitting down here to post another blog before Monday remind me to tell you about my date. (No I’m not back on a dating site. Fate stepped in.)

Monday, February 1, 2010

6:58am... (civil twilight not when I started this post)

This pic is of my oldest a couple of years ago. She’s such a doll and it’s a great pic of spring which is just around the corner. Though not the subject of today’s blog post but it’s one of my favorite pics.

It’s February already, can you believe it? In just one short week I’ll start the first of the broccoli and celery indoors. I’m so glad I wrote out my garden calendar back in October otherwise I’d be in a frantic mess trying to remember what and when and how many. I’m still working on the garden map itself and I’m struggling with a couple of numbers, especially tomatoes and peppers but I have what I need to know in front of me so I don’t find myself in the middle of May with nothing but seeds.

Back at the end of Christmas break I moved Elizabeth into her sister’s room with her. The idea that getting my office back together and the ability to sneak out of my bedroom at the wee hours of the morning without waking her up would be much needed. What I didn’t know is that by doing so would see her sleeping till 9am if I leave her to it, which on Saturday and Sunday mornings is really nice it gives me a couple of hours to relax with a cup of joe and get my to do list together before I have to make her breakfast. Of course during the week I unfortunately have to get her up in time to put her in her car seat and drive her sister to school. It’ll come in handy this summer too when school is out and I don’t have to wake either up early.

So today I’m officially putting my office back together again. Part of that is cleaning up my desk top computer so I can keep backups on it and I’ll actually get some real work done. What I use for blogging, chatting and garden homework is a little HP Mini (notebook) I got while I was taking a few classes last year. It’s turned into a toy as much as a tool though and it’s too easy to sit in my big chair and get lost in watching Dora, Diego and Sesame Street or whatever chick flick or reality tv show happens to be on in the evening instead of doing the work I should be. Not that I haven’t had the ample time to do all the above but soon enough I’ll find those distractions more than a filling in of boredom gaps but a tool for procrastinating and falling behind. See I do think ahead.

I’d forgotten what a mess I left my desk top computer in when I got this one and a wireless connection though. Not to mention the desk itself. I’ve talked about my ability to let things pile up around the house. My desk is another one of those places where things get put when it’s closer then the spot it’s suppose to be put. Know the feeling? Maybe it’s just me. (I’ve also forgotten how easy it is to get lost day dreaming while looking out my office window! TV tends to be more boring; maybe I should put my office in the living room.) Luckily I’ve been around the pc block once or twice so I’m not completely na├»ve to removing programs I don’t need and defragmenting and whatnot. No I couldn’t tell you how to do all that and I’d never attempt it on a pc that wasn’t mine but for my own personal use it works in a crunch. Eventually I might just have to take it to the pc doctor again and get it back to new condition.

One mediocre fish sandwich later I’m back at it. One thing I have learned is I cannot sit down and punch out anything more than about 200 words at once. Unless that is I’m inspired by some steamy day dream and decide to put it towards my harlequin goal (ladies know all about harlequin but I don’t expect many men to know what that means) then I can easily punch out 1200 to 2200 words in an hour. That doesn’t happen very often though. So this particular blog post will take me the majority of the day since I happen to be writing it while doing EVERYTHING else. That and I’m not in my big chair, I’m in my office (still on the notebook though).

So yea, February again. Already. I was just thinking back to last February and where I was at in life. Single. I had just got dumped the month before after seeing a guy from about Oct till mid January. What a joke that turned out to be, joke on me. I don’t think I told you about that one. I also don’t think I will. Not today anyways. When I need some funny material I’ll reminisce a little until then I’ll forget it. Valentine’s Day saw me picking the short straw to take mom out to dinner. Though I don’t actually remember grabbing for a straw or anyone else for that matter but the obligation landed in my lap. Which wasn’t all bad. I had a great dinner which cost too much then got a speeding ticket on the way home which cost even more. But dinner was really, really great, shark, volcano of onion rings and um… I can’t remember what I had for the main dish. I wonder what this VDay will have in store. Single again after seeing someone from Aug till Nov, which again turned out to be a joke. Ha! Jokes on me! I have some bad luck with winter dating. Maybe I should remember that and forgo whatever relationship happens my way at the end of this summer. Hmm… Well I’ve already given up on dating so I guess I won’t have a problem with that. Unless… that one guy… hmm… ‘nough thinking ‘bout that.

So yea, February again. Already. Wow.

P.S. My computer is running great once again. Yay!


I hired my first real employee over the weekend. My brother. He's a little lost in his way and not sure what step to take next and currently unemployed so I nabbed him. We spent the weekend putting up fence. The first step of many that has to be taken to get my garden spots ready is making sure the alpacas can't get where they're not wanted.

Here's the kicker though. Hiring my brother means hiring my mom. She's his unofficial keeper. Shhh... don't tell him I said that. But yea, where my brother goes my mom goes too. She's retired so she has a lot of time on her hands and with my brother unemployed she'd found herself a companion.

Having mom come over wasn't so bad. It will end up costing me more, but she did my Monday chores, or at least half of them. My kitchen is spotless Monday morning before I even got up. I still have a load of laundry to do but the rest of the day will be spent doing some R and D.

So I guess you could say I hired my first 2 employees over the weekend. Let the fun begin!

Oh the reason why. I'm learning how to allocate chores. Since I know for a fact the max hours I could really work is about 100 with a part time sitter for the kids. And there are a few weeks that have enough space for two people working those hours. So see, this is me growing, maturing and accepting the fact that although I AM SuperMom, I can't do everything myself.