shrek, mayonnaise and 30lbs of chicken...

That sums up my day. I'm a little depressed and on a pity me wagon so empathy or stop reading now. :) I'll try to hold back.

So my disastrous date Saturday was about as bad as I thought. Another one of those "I have a ton of respect for you but there's no spark." Boy have I heard that line before. Over and over and over again. Truth is I need a Shrek, someone so damn fugly that they forgive my fugliness. That's me holding back. I promise you won't hear anymore about it.

Today I made mayonnaise! Seriously. And it was really really good. I'm shocked at how easy it is to make and boy who knew that real mayonnaise was yellow? Well as yellow as the yolks you put in it. I think I might try it with the whites too next time. I read that it makes it lighter colored and thicker. I'm also going to find some different oil to experiment with. Turns out cheap olive oil needs more spices to cover up the cheap olive oil taste. And here I thought I was being classy by buying olive oil in the first place. That'll learn me!

Tomorrow I'm going to make a loaf of russian rye bread and some chicken salad with that mayonnaise.

Chicken. So I got back 30lbs of chicken today. Only $38 to process. Not too bad, though that's not counting all the feed they've eaten because I kept putting off butchering them. Not my fault. I'm a mom and a home maker and a healer of boo boo's, not an animal slaughterer. So there. :) Anyways. So tonight I stuck one of those big guys in the crock pot, well I tried, he didn't fit. So I found the biggest pot I had and stuffed him in it. He barely fit. The lid wouldn't shut till he was cook so thoroughly that his legs fell off. I know how's that for a mental image if you didn't know what I was talking about? Anyways. So in went the bird 3.85lbs of bird, a bottle of porter, a bottle of wheat and enough water to cover most of him. Along with some bay leaves, sage and other yummy chicken spices. Oh and a big ole stick of butter (no not goat butter, I haven't made that yet). He's been cooking slowly since about 3pm. We picked off what we could eat for dinner and the rest of him will cook down till I can separate the bones from the meat. The juices will be cooked down, the meat and herbs put into their proper homes and I'll have stock, chicken noodle soup and chicken salad. I really need a pressure canner. That's the next thing on my list. And more canning jars (the goats are using almost all of mine).

So overall today wasn't so bad. Mr. eHarmony was a flop but hey. What can you do? I can't afford a face lift so I guess I'm stuck looking for Shrek. I wonder if Shrek has a good career and goes to church. Hmm... I guess anything is possible. I did go from a housewife to a milkmaid/farmer. If that's possible anything is!

Oops. Sorry I wasn't spose to mention that again. I'm going to cross it out for you so you don't have to read it. I told you I was feeling sorry for myself. It doesn't happen too often but sometimes. It hurts. Rejection. I know, screw him, what does he know? Not much obviously. But still it's hard to get there without getting all jaded and thick skinned. I don't want to think everyone is a dillhole. I really don't. It's not his fault I'm buttugly. It's the pain. He was nice. Well maybe not so much. I'm way too easy to get too. Time to toughen up! Roar!

Anyways.

I think I'm going to have to put my garden customers off another week and I really don't like to have to do that. But it poured down rain almost all day. Just came down by the bucket full. Seriously. It's so freakin' depressing. All this rain and I'm going to need some of that chicken noodle soup because I'm going to be sick.

Anyways.

I sincerely hope the rest of you are having better luck at love and gardening than I am. Kiss your significant other, they're such a wonderful part of being human.

Good night!