Wow it's hot...

Yesterday got a little warm. We all survived though. Personally I find a little heat energizing. Makes the arthritis in my knees go away for awhile too. Yesterday it made it to 107. Today is spose to be the hottest day of this heat wave though. I guess we'll find out. Plenty of water and shade.

We'll probably just hide inside where the a/c is cool.

I better rush and get the rest of the chores done before it gets too hot.

So I’ve come up with a sure fire way to keep me at home raising the children even though I need a little extra to tie those loose ends. Community Supported Agriculture or CSA. Farming for your community is the way I would describe it. While I sit here wishing it was Jan instead of July so I could get started right now, it’s good to have time to plan, organize and figure out what needs to be done and when. Research is something I’ve always loved, so I’ll utilize a passion to form a lot of conclusions that will happen between now and next year about this time.

I’m excited. My goal to stay home and raise my children has been made possible without a lot of startup that so many home businesses require. I can easily garden more space without adding a lot to my monthly bill. Seeds come in abundance for such a small price. Starting plants indoors will take a little practice but not something I have to wait for the proper season to practice. While I don’t have the greenest thumb, I have (thanks to the large quantity of alpaca manure) been able to grow successful gardens for the past 4 years.

I'm confident. In my ability, ambition and heart.

Check back often. I'll let ya know how the plans are progressing.

We have chicks!

At 6am I got the call saying I had chicks at the post office. So since about 6:15 the girls and I have been enjoying the cheeping and peeping of 38 chicks. I only ordered 35 but they tossed in a couple extra just in case some didnt make it through the mail.

Today was my (favorite) aunt's birthday. My aunt was more of a parent to me then either of my biological parents even though she didn't know what to do with me most the time. The one thing she did do for me was make me go to church. Yea, I know some would say it's unfair to make a child go to church, but I will never look badly at her for doing so. In return I do the same for my kids. It's a gift; gift of faith, trust, hope and something bigger then ourselves.

Today my aunt turned 70 so in order to thank her for what she's done for me and my kids I made her this birthday cake. It's not the best cake ever but it tasted pretty good. We spent the afternoon playing croquet with the rest of the family before digging into it.

Here's to appreciating those who take care of us even when they don't know what to do with us.

It’s Saturday night. I’m relaxing in my big comfy chair watching a chick flick on lifetime. The last three days I’ve had a babysitter here so free reign over the farm chores I do. It’s been great! I’m sore from too much work, burnt from too much sun and tired from too little sleep. I feel awesome!

My big farm chores only get done when I have a sitter for the baby since I she is too small to keep up. When the sitter (my aunt) is here my oldest daughter and I get to work. My oldest is only 7yrs old but she’s a natural when it comes to hard work. Doesn’t complain at all and sleeps even better at night. Just like her mom. I couldn’t be prouder of her!

My youngest has enjoyed a little bit of the outside but it’s been in the 80’s and 90’s the last three days so she hasn’t been allowed out much. She’s got that red head gene in her which means she turns pink very quickly. Her sister and I on the other hand just turn a nice shade of tan. At least twice today I caught myself looking at my bronzed shoulders wishing I was brave enough to do farm chores in a bikini top. Ah to have no tan lines! So far I’ve worn nothing less than a spaghetti strap tank top and no more than a normal tank top out to work (besides the jeans and boots).

We’ve got wasp nests sprayed, the barn door re-hung, the briars cut back and part of the path around the garden put in. Doesn’t sound like a lot when you just look at the simplified list but it’s been enough work to last us almost three days. The only break I’ve gotten so far was a nice lunch date Friday from someone I’ve been pining over for the past 3yrs. (but trying to forget) don’t laugh. It’s just another episode in the sitcom I call my life (I’m almost sure). A girl can dream though, can’t she? At least until reality hits home.

For now I’m content. I have the first of my lemon cucumbers soaking in my home made pickle juice, a good friend from MO chatting with me online and nothing standing in my way of sleep besides the baby possibly waking up for another bottle. I don’t think life could be any better than this.

Oh and I ordered 25 fryers, 5 buff orpington hens and 5 barred rock hens! It’s like waiting for Christmas; I can’t wait till my chicks are delivered! Yay! (Maybe I’ll even see my lunch date from Friday again.)

Smile! I’m smiling!

I’m often heard saying that being a mom is the only thing I’m great at. Sure there are other things I can do efficiently but I don’t feel I’m great at anything besides being a mommy. (I think I was pretty good at being a wife, but seeing how I’m divorced, maybe not as good as I thought)

Today I’d like to share my kids with you. The reason why is because they are heavy on my mind due to a certain dilemma I’m facing today.

The above picture is of our little family when Elizabeth was born almost 17 months ago. Her sister was feeling all the excitement I was minus the shear terror of raising a baby with very little help.

Both my kids were born early, Michelle 8wks early spent 4wks in NICU and Elizabeth 10wks early spent 7wks in NICU. Elizabeth is extra special because she was my true test of strength and proof I could handle anything that life threw my direction.

Elizabeth was a tiny 2lbs 14oz when she was born. She was born with several birth defects that I won't go into detail her but make her a very rare and special baby. (Even if she wasn't already special enough, right?)

The first months of pregnancy with her were spent worrying after the first ultrasound revealed something scary. The 20hrs before she was born were spent terrified because I was fighting her arrival.

The first 4wks I spent praying for her to find the will to survive and thrive. The first 7wks were spent next to her incubator in the hospital, although I couldn't stay long I never missed a day, some days I even went twice.

After we got her home we were thrilled but still had a long hard fight ahead of us. While she was healthy overall her birth defects kept her small and uncomfortable.

At 9 months she went into the hospital for major reconstructive surgery that would alter and better her life dramatically. It's amazing how draining a 9day hospital stay can be. While I only lost sleep and a few hairs turned grey she lost some hard earned weight and came home a pound lighter. We were happy to have her home again though.

I've been so proud of Michelle for all the love and affection she's shown her sister; she LOVES being a big sissy! She's been as much of a mother's little helper as I've allowed. I've woken up in the morning to find she's changed Elizabeth's diaper or kept her entertained just a little bit longer so not to wake me up too early.

Michelle's been a real blessing. She's certainly made it easier to go through this whole trial of hardships and stress. She's always optimistic and never doubts that everything will turn out perfectly. Oh to have the faith of a child! I guess that is what we're suppose to strive for, right?

We're not through all of Elizabeth's problems just yet, this fall will probably see us with more surgery. For now we're doing ok. My kids have been a real blessing and thanks to them I know my true calling in life was to be a mommy.

What's prompted me to share what I did with you today? Maybe to emphasize that no one could possibly appreciate, love and care for my kids like I do.

Today I’m faced with a huge dilemma. I know for a lot of you the answer to this problem would be simple. For me however it’s going against the nature of my grain to take the easy way out, for me the easy way isn’t the right way. I’m a firm believer that mom’s should stay home and raise their kids, at the minimum till they’re in school.

I’m an advocate for all moms’ especially single moms who want nothing more than to be there for their kids, to teach them, be attentive to their needs and love them like no one else could possibly be expected to do.

Today faced with losing what little overhead I have or going to work. I don’t mind work; I run a farm work is what I do. I’m not lazy; I run a farm lazy isn’t possible. Due to this failing economy I’m losing one of my investors; long term investments are not always possible when the interest on your mortgage goes up, get laid off or have unexpected expenses. Sometimes others need the help more, simple as that. No hard feelings just reality hitting home. Ya know?

I’m determined to raise my daughters into responsible contributing citizens though. No I won’t leave them in the hands of strangers. Yes I will figure out how to make ends meet without the extra help. How is out of my reach of understanding right now but time, prayer and lots of sacrifice will see us there?

Become an advocate for mom’s who want nothing more than to raise their own children.

What can you do? Say a little prayer for my kids. Visit my blog often, I post when I have something to share or need to vent my frustrations. You can also follow one of the many advertisements on my blog page. Every click counts.

Thanks for letting me brag about my kids and share my worries. :)

Oregon Lavender Festival '09

This weekend Oregon was celebrating their lavender farms. There are almost 3 dozen participating lavender farms that you can visit this weekend and lots of activities to keep the family entertained.

We spent the better part of the day walking around several different farms.

The kids even enjoyed themeselves.

Elizabeth got in a lot of practice walkin on the grass and gravel paths.

Though I think she was more interested

in what might taste good off the ground.

(notice handfuls of something?)




My Aunt Nina is the one who told us about the lavender farms and invited us along with her to see them. When I was growing up my Aunt Nina was almost more of a parent then my own mom. Now days even though she's not Grandma to my kids I refer to her as their Nana. When I found this species of lavender among the many different varieties I thought it was fitting.


Part of the way through our day we stopped in Yahmill at the Artisan Fair to look at booths. Michelle's favorite part of the Fair was the playground; mine was this old tractor they had parked in the corner of the playground. (Can't resist an old tractor!)

And a close up. :)

Who could resist the beauty of fields of purple lavender blowing in the breeze and the fragrant air that you can smell before you even see the fields? (oh and don't forget the natural relaxing properties of lavender)

Well I'm sorry I couldn't share the wonderful scents of the day but atleast I got to share some of the beautiful plants. Hope you enjoy 'em as much as I do!

Wednesday, July 8th '09

My little family. On our little tractor. Fit for our little farm.

Today we cleaned out the barn. I've been lazy about the hens and they've made a mess; scooped almost a yard of chicken manure out of the barn. Next time we get out we'll build a chicken coop; I'd like to grow some more birds for the freezer and add a few more for eggs. The first year here we proudly put 15 rhode island reds in the freezer but things have been crazy since then. Now that things are getting back in order and we're finding our feet I think we'll make a habit of it. Besides home fresh eggs are the best. Dont'cha think?

We spent some time in the garden too. Though I'm proud of the tomato plants that are exploding with tomatos my oldest thought this was the best pic to describe our garden adventure. She thinks caterpillars are cool. (I wonder if they'd make good fishing bait?) Tonight we had a nice salad out of our garden; lettuce, tomatos and carrots. Even put up a jar of pickle slices (I just soak em in vinegar, sugar and fennel, then snack at will). I have a friend in Missouri sending me some cucumber seeds special for pickles (I can't wait). Next year I'll be adding a few things to the garden I'm missing this year and try my hand at an herb garden.

Starting Over

I use to blog on myspace. The past two years or so I had a running diary there. Somewhere in the midst of the social failures and dating dramas I deleted that profile. As a writer at heart it's a hard habit to let go or maybe it's a hard passion to ignore? So here I am.

Getting back into the habit is another task altogether. I'm a full time student on top of all the other chores, last semester I found myself drowning in 21 credits which meant 4 or 5 essays every week. So my brain seems to be fighting the writing thing. (notice my grammar sucks)

As I get back into the rhythm I'll introduce you to my farm, my kids and my life in general.

My oldest and my nephew.

She's very dramatic.

She loves being a big sister though!

Some of our critters.

Grilled Corn on the Cob - cheater method

Today I cheated. After a big bbq yesterday I just felt like being lazy but still wanted that yummy grill style food for lunch. So with the help of my stove top grill/gridle I grilled my corn on the cob inside.

Dating.. yea I'm still at it...

I am not impressed with online dating sites. I’m starting to wonder if the only people left on them are just societies’ rejects. (If you’re on my list and reading this don’t take offense) Which of course puts me on that same list? Then I guess I belong; divorced single mom of two kids by two different dads. Boy, am I a winner or what, right? I guess all of us societal rejects have good points as well as the bad ones. I have a few good points myself but yea.

I joined eHarmony a while back and was nothing but disappointed in the men they sent my way. I almost got the impression that they were even more desperate than your average online dater. You might argue that if you’re willing to pitch out $200 for a dating site that means you’re sincerely looking; for some that couldn’t be more accurate. On the other hand if you’re willing to pitch out $200 for dating maybe it just means you’re that bad at finding a date otherwise. Or maybe it’s being so tired of the kind of guys you find on a regular pay site so you pay more hoping that you get what you pay for. That is a well known cliché; you get what you pay for. In that case I can’t afford the kind of guy I want.

I joined match.com a while back and got the same results with it; the same kind of guy, the nice one that you have a great time with then one day he just vanishes without a word. The kind that really leaves you confused because you never saw it coming. The kind that makes you want to not have fun with the next guy cause you don’t want to like him because you don’t want to be left confused and hurt again when they disappear as well.

That’s where I’m sitting at now. I figured the best way to get past the old hurt was to move on, right? Isn’t that what they tell you to do? Well so I did. Found a new date (it’s not a hard task to find a date). Yea sure date one went great and date two was nice too, but I’m left wanting to slow it down or stop it. You ask about well why not speed it up? Well that would just get to the disappearing part sooner. Dating really is over rated.

I had someone accuse me of being a serial dater. I guess that means you date a lot? I never could find the real definition to that title. If that is the definition then yes I guess I could be titled that way but it’s nothing I can do about it. It’s, keep looking for Mr. Right or give up all hope and start collecting cats. (I'm not a cat person) ,,,^o.o^,,,~~~~

Ah well. I doubt I’ll ever truly understand this sport called dating. It certainly seems to only allow one person to win; always one loser.

Ok I’m thinking this is the last of my dating blogs for awhile. Just talking about it weirds me out.