Sunday, January 31, 2010


Well that's still beginning of civil twilight. Ya know when the sky goes from black to grey. That mere shade of something other then night. When day first winks at you. It'll also be when my alarm goes off, but again I'll hit my snooze button atleast 3 times. Sunrise is at 7:30, so my goal is to have my jeans and boots on and first cup of coffee in my hand by then.

Wish me luck! ;)

Thursday, January 28, 2010


Yesterday I had a hard time sitting down and putting words together. As I stated earlier my youngest had an appointment with a back specialist to find out when she'd need to have surgery. It wasn't a question of if but when. It's a very sobering thing knowing that your 23 month old would have to have such an invasive surgery and spend the majority of the next 16yrs in and out of the hospital and in pain and not even old enough to understand why.

When they told us they wanted to give it 8 more months to see if it would get worse or stay the same I don't really know if it was relief or fear that I felt. Who wants to wait for something to get worse? While yes I'm happy that she doesn't have to have surgery yet, now I'm watching her like a hawk for changes or complications caused by her back issue. I need to get busy. Once the season starts 8 months will pass just like that.

I'm still setting my alarm clock for civil twilight. Now that sunrise is early enough to get the kid off to school I've debated on switching to it but I think I like the luxury of hitting the snooze button. So tomorrow it will go off at 7:02 but I'll hit the snooze button at least three times.

My kitchen. With yesterdays demand on my time and emotions I didn't even touch it other than to make dinner. The simplest meal a person could ever make and is still so good the kids go back for 2nd, 3rd and 4th if there is any left. It has two ingredients: pasta (any kind of noodle) and a can of sweetened condensed milk. Don't do anything to the condensed milk just pour it in a bowl and add the cooked noodles on top of it and fold both together. This is my 8yr olds' favorite dish. Occasionally if I'm feeling really hungry I'll add a cut up braut or two to the dish but it's marvelous without it. Next time your kids ask for Mac n Cheese, make this instead. You won't regret it. I promise.

So last night I was craving an adult conversation so I went into yahoo chat. I was rewarded greatly. I spent about 5hrs chatting in pm (private message) with someone. I'm still giving up on dating but it's sure nice to have someone to talk to. Especially since my good friend dumped me cause of my age. (I'm still broken hearted over that one)

One more cup of coffee then I need to clean my kitchen, do a load of laundry and put together some numbers for my CPA. Yep, my tax adventure turned into a confusing mess so I went in search of an old friend who is a CPA by profession. He's going to do all the ugly work for me so I can relax a bit and worry about more important things. And he's not going to charge me an arm n leg to do so. Nice guy. Now I need to learn how to keep records better to make his job easier. Ha!

Have a great day!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


As I've said before my kitchen is spotless (for 30 minutes twice a week). Yesterday I got it so shinny I damn near needed sun glasses to go in there. Damn near. Right away the bread maker started calling my name. Ya see I cheat with my bread, I let the bread maker mix my dough and raise it before I take it out and form it into whatever it's going to be before baking it. Ok so I only half cheat. Anyways.

So the bread maker is calling my name and the elk steak my (use to be and I'll miss him greatly because he was awesome [that's another story I'll tell you when I'm not so broken hearted]) good friend gave me that's been in the freezer waiting for something special to happen to take them out was calling my name too. I love elk, I think it's my favorite even more so then beef. True I have to take a little more care with cooking it so it doesn't dry out but it has such a "connected to the earth" flavor to it that cow just can't duplicate, not even that grass fed cow. Sorry Mr. Bovine but you're my 2nd favorite meat (er um maybe 3rd, I really love my home grown chicken). Anyways.

So my bread maker and elk steaks are calling my name. I remind myself that I just cleaned my kitchen and if I don't hold off there will never be proof of it clean until next time (unless I take a picture, hmm... I should have thought about that while it was clean. Damn.) Then I remind myself it's pizza night (Monday night has become pizza night because I like someone else doing the cooking at least once a week and since I'm single [sigh] there is no one else here so I let Digiorno to do the cooking Monday night.) So my spirits are lifted, maybe my kitchen will stay clean until Tuesday morning (a whole 20hrs or so). How exciting would that be?

Yet the bread maker and elk steaks are calling my name and now that I remember it's pizza night I know my oldest is going to be expecting pizza so I'm feeling slightly obligated to let Digiorno do my cooking tonight. At the same time I can't seem to explain that to the bread maker, its saying 'but I'm so much more fun than ripping open a box and shoving a frozen pizza in the oven'. I can't hardly argue with that, but my 8yr old is still going to be expecting pizza, then the light bulb comes on (the one over the kitchen sink because it gets too hot and goes out then when it cools off again it comes back on). I could make pizza, Digiorno will be a little disappointed that I'm not inviting him over tonight but maybe he'd understand. Heck he's the longest relationship I've had since my divorce (I'll make it up to him next week).

So it's settled, I add all the necessary ingredients to the bread maker and set it for dough. Happy with my ability to compromise I go to find my elk steaks then ponder if pizza is really a worthy cause for elk steaks. A couple of brauts catch my attention and I compromise again. I toss the brauts on the counter to thaw out and I smile at my spotless kitchen promising I won't wait till Wednesday to clean it up.

The pizza turned out great! The kitchen is a wreck once more and this morning I'm suffering from regret, kind of like what happens when you drink just a little more then you intended to the night before and your head hurts and you keep the lights off cause they scream at you every time you turn them on. Yet you have no one to blame but yourself and you know it, but, but... you had a good excuse for drinking so much cause you were broken hearted because that sob broke your heart. Of course that doesn't cure your hang over, but you feel a little bit better and remind yourself never to do it again.

[Sigh] I should clean my kitchen... maybe tomorrow.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Green eggs...

Pictures don't really do color justice, but here's my green egg. If you tilt your screen just so and dim the light just so it looks green. Trust me I tried it!


We've all heard of square foot gardening. I'm taking gardening to a new level (pun intended) well actually three levels.

My little farm is hardly mentionable as a farm because I only have 2.18 acres. Usually when someone thinks of a farm they're thinking a little more footage than 2 acres. So I've been a little restricted on what I could do with my little farm. I've also been poring over the books on small acreage farming, alternative farming, etc. This is the primary reason why alpacas work so well here, they require such a small amount of space. This also why I'm limiting the number of Garden Share customers to such a small number.

With a little intensive, succession and companion gardening I can squeeze about 40 customers out of one acre. That's not a bad number considering I'm just one person and do the majority of the work myself; an acre of garden will keep me pretty busy 9 months of the year.

Now to explain 3 layer gardening. Picture this: a 4x10 bed of lettuce, radishes, beets, carrots, cabbage, cauliflower, turnips, onions and broccoli. Above this is a low sided raised bed on wheels, the bottom of the raised bed would be about 18" off the ground leaving room for the bottom crops to grow as well as providing shade and cool below it (the wagon is about 4x5 and the wheels allows for it to be rolled off the growing bed below to gain access). Inside this wagon will be planted tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, Brussels sprouts, artichokes, zucchini, and any other slightly tall bushy plant.

Above each garden bed would be a wooden frame about 9ft off the ground, from this would be a hanging basket type planters or even a window box type container. In these boxes would be planted trailing crops such as cucumbers, peas, pole beans, melons, lufas, peanuts, etc., anything that grows on a vine that could trail over the side of the container.

So here you have a 4x10 garden bed with low growing crops, a 4x5 wheeled middle layer with bushy crops providing shade for the bottom crops, and a 2x10 box along the length of the bed up on a frame cascading with trailing crops. Can you picture that?

That 40sqft of garden just turned into 80sqft of garden all within easy reach for picking.

So yea, you can see I'm a little eccentric because this is what I lay awake thinking about at night and takes up most of my brain space during the day. Is that sad a 30yr old single mom trying to optimize my little 2 acre piece of earth? Too bad I couldn't grow livestock in layers. Hmm... maybe I could rabbits, chickens, piglets, oh my!

Back to house chores. My kitchen is begging for attention. My kitchen is spotless for about 30 minutes twice a week. I haven't figured out how to keep it spotless for longer than that. Twice a week I clean it top to bottom but then when it's clean I start making bread, marinating meat for dinner, and all the other fun stuff a kitchen is made for. Ya know what I mean? I guess maybe I should just clean it more often. Hmm... what a concept!

I'll see what I can do about pictures of what my brain has been pondering about. I feel a book coming on. Woo hoo the newest craze in gardening.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Oh I forgot to mention...

I found a green egg today! It was so cool. I ordered chickens awhile back and the hatchery must have tossed one of them easter egg layers in. What a neat suprise it was.


This week ended with a dud. I'm still sick though I've changed a few of my habits and it does seem to be helping. I deleted my dating profile. I really don't have the energy for that kind of thing. It seems to drain everything good in me out. Who'd thunk it?

I set my alarm for in the morning. Civil twilight begins at 7:06 tomorrow though sunrise isn't until 7:38 so you can bet I'll probably hit the snooze button atleast twice. Like usual.

Another day. Another week. This week is going to be stressful. The baby's physical therapist will be here tomorrow afternoon, then Wednesday she gets to go see her new doc (back surgery detail). Oh the fun!

I think I'm going to get a pool table. I like the idea of becoming a social hermit. I know just the other day I was saying how important being social was to a person's character. Well ya know what? I'll just be social right here. Ha! So yea, I'm going to get a pool table. 9 times out of 10 when I go out that's what I wind up doing anyways. Playing pool and drinking a porter. Doing that at home will save me loads of mola.

Wish me luck! (on the kid and the pool table) I'm going to need it!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Weekend of cancelled dates....

I really need to get busy again, all this down time is seeing me on the bored side of content. Everyone knows what boredom does to ya, makes ya seek out trouble. Ha ha. Ok so as we grow up we're not spose to seek out so much trouble. And I don't! Not all the time anyways. And it's not the bad kind of trouble, it's just a date. Though lately dating has become hazardous to my ego and sense of humor.

That last date I had really made me stop and think. My picker is broken! What a bad conclusion to come to, even though I really could have figured that out before if I'd just done the math. Marriage - divorce + two kids divided by two donors + half a million.5 first dates - a steady bf X the number of dating disastors = me with a broken picker.

This weekend I actually had 3 lined up. Friday night was spose to be the dude from last week. But what the masses don't know he turned out to be... unworthy of a round two. Saturday night I was spose meet someone and Sunday I was spose to go fishing (not really a date but meeting someone new). I even cancelled fishing. Yea see it's that bad.

Anyways. I'm taking a breather from the whole mess. I probably wasn't ready after the last one anyways.

Farm news. My hens are laying eggs! Middle of winter. Go figure.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

7:10... Winter Blues

The phemonenal winter blues, while logical in practice is still kind of a pain in the backside. I have to wonder if a lot of it isn't circumstantial though.

I've been fighting a cough and sore throat since Thursday. It should be just about done. I've been sleeping more because of it. A little depressed too.

Then I've had one heck of a couple of weeks. With my youngest going in for surgery it's not too surprising I've been a little down. And the date I had Friday night was enough to make anyone depressed.

Time for some pick me up.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Social networking... facebook

So I created a facebook profile. I shouldn't have. It was just another way to remind myself of who's come and gone in my life. That email invite thing shows who you've previously emailed and has a facebook page. It's depressing. The "one" that got away. The baby's donor. The ex's mom.

I had a weird moment yesterday. I'm on pof. Again. That's depressing too. I've been working on my profile there so guys will know exactly what they're getting into. My profile is starting to look a lot like this blog. The wanderings and ponderings of my mind. Ramblings.

Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't try the whole bar scene. Everyone has such negative things to say. ha ha. I'm joking. I'd more than likely become "the other" woman. Not that online dating hasn't taken me down that path. Oops!

I need to start focusing my thoughts on the CSA part of life. While leaving the personal stuff out.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

7:14 + three slaps of the snooze button...

Getting up before the sun is one of the hardest things I think I'll ever do. Began civil twilight is 7:14 while sunrise isn't till 7:46. This is actually an embarrassment this time of year. By June I'll easily get up around 4am. I find it a real challenge to get my body out of bed before the sun is up.

I can't be the only one.

It's not like there is so much to do this time of year that waking up post civil twilight is really hampering anything. I still have a hard time not feeling lazy though when I look at the clock.

I'm glad my career choice doesn't require more of me this time of year.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

First date of the year.. and the good, bad and the ugly

Tonight will be my first date this year. I've been out with him before. Twice already but once was just a simple meet the other we called a date. He's nice enough. Though I wonder if I really want to give up my single status. I'm starting to get comfortable with only having to answer to myself.

I got my taxes filed. Or atleast personal taxes. I will do my business taxes later. Personal taxes are great because I got smart last year and gave myself a wage. Nothing more simple then filing 1040ez. Business taxes however will take a good 40hrs to put together. Luckily I can pay myself for that time too. woo hoo.

Last week I found out my youngest (2 next month) will probably need surgery on her back to fix a growing weakness. When she was born she had a handful of birthdefects. One was part of a vertabrae behind her 3rd or 4th rib didn't form right. Now it's becoming problem. If left alone it'll eventually cripple. What a way to start life. Since I was 16wks pregnant with her I've had one worry after another with her.

9 days in. Whew what a start. Not sure the good outweighs the bad in this case.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


This time of year I sometimes miss the simplicity of working for someone else. They mail you your w2 and you're off to H&R, 2 weeks later you're a little richer, 2 days after that you're broke again.

It doesn't work quite like that when your lifestyle is your means of income. So paperwork for breakfast, lunch and dinner till you're sure you've crossed all your i's and dotted all your t's. Er um.. maybe it's the other way around.

If you're lucky enough to have as many expenses as taxes then life isn't so bad (thats me this year) but if you have the misfortune (I know what a double standard huh?) of having a really great year then you tend to dread this time of year.

So yea the rest of this week will be spent wrapping up paperwork for taxes. Then the countdown till payday. I like to call it a holiday bonus. Too bad I couldn't put in for a paid vacation!

Know the feeling?

Saturday, January 2, 2010

so the new year starts out with a bang.. or dud..

My drinking new years eve seems to have kicked off the flu that's been going around. It's been so long since I've been sick that it really caught me by surprise. Though I guess I'm not all that surprised drinking lowers the immune system and whatever is in there takes over. No it's not just a hangover. I thought so at first but it still has me down and out even now. So start the new year off with lots of bed rest and fluids.

My ex all of a sudden decided to take a dominate approach to his fathering. He's insisted that I'm keeping his daughter away from him. Those of you who know me beyond my blog know that my ex has been in the same house as my daughter damn near every weekend for the past year. (because he wont get a job and my aunt being the christian woman that she is - God bless her - has been letting him stay in one of her spare rooms.)

So although his daughter has been in the same house he's been in damn near every weekend for the past year he's not seen more then a couple hours of quality time with her. My daughter comes home hurt because he barely says hello and goodbye to her as he leaves to be with friends. He's one of the luckiest sob's I know getting to be under the same roof as his daughter so often but yet he's one of the dumbest for not taking full advantage of it and spending that time with her.

So now that he's behind in rent with my aunt he's found a couple of kids to move in with. How I don't know. So he's ditched my aunt and all the bad debt he has made in her little town and moved on to a new start. It is the new year and everyone deserves a fresh start. Right? Right.

So now even though I have no idea where he's living and he's yet to have a bed to sleep in, is sharing an apartment with a couple of kids (yes they're legal though one isn't legal to drink yet), he wants my 7yr old to be a part of his new life. *Sigh*

Unfortunately just short of kidnap and running away I have little choice in the matter.

Be forever warned: Do not make kids with anyone, when they leave you have no control over what they subject those kids to. (Yea next time I'm going to a sperm bank)

So I'm nursing my fluish/hangover, stressed over what my daughter will be subjected to next weekend and cleaning the house like ya wouldn't believe. What else is a woman to do when she's stress/upset? Cleaning house is the only solution.

What a way to start in the new year. Atleast my house will have a good start. Off to finish what I've started.

Be well, God bless.. say an extra prayer for my 7yr old (and her momma)